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Mindful : June 2019
As we just notice, just rest, just listen, we offer ourselves a great kindness that makes us feel cared for. yoga practice I had created to make myself feel solid and secure was not the type of practice I needed to become a more active participant in my own well-being.” Somewhat ironically, it was a yoga class that changed the trajectory of her practice, and as it would turn out, of her entire life. During Savasana, the finishing “corpse” pose where you simply rest in meditation and allow the practice to sink in, she became aware of how hard she was working, and how frustrated she was that her “ I loved how power- ful my body felt when I practiced yoga,” she writes. “I loved the sensations of openness and expansive- ness when challenging my physical boundaries. I did headstands so I could feel mighty and successful and strong.” Then her world turned upside down. Her beloved sister-in-law, Lisa, was diagnosed with lung cancer, and died just three years later. The shock of it deeply impacted Pransky; alongside the pain and loss a harrowing truth was revealed, she writes: “We are not really in control of our life.” Not long afterward she experienced her first panic attack, sending her to the emergency room and fol- lowed by the development of debilitating fears. “I was scared to ride the subway, scared to fly in a plane,” she writes. “I felt as if I were forever running away from danger.” The yoga that had made her feel strong and power- ful didn’t help. “In the wake of Lisa’s death, I suffered from both anxiety and exhaustion. As my health faltered, I realized that the 60 mindful June 2019