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Mindful : December 2014
December 2014 mindful 61 Stay tuned! In Getting Started #6: how meditation becomes a means to help others. February 2015 issue. 5 Helpful Reminders for Building Intimacy Touch more, touch often Touch is good. It soothes our bodies, calms our minds, and creates a special intimacy between us. Make caressing your sweethear t a daily practice. Trail fin- ger tips along their bare neck as you pass in the kitchen, share foot-rubs when you watch TV, rest a hand on their knee in the car. Kiss goodnight. Kiss hello. Heck, kiss for no reason at all. Meditate together Practice mutual mindfulness. Cre- ate a special place in your home for two cushions. Sit together, connect- ing with your breath and to each other. Cuddle on the couch, eyes closed, and deeply listen to a beautiful piece of music. Walk silently in nature, fingers entwined, noticing beauty and stillness. Write love letters Marital research shows that happy long-term cou- ples express their fondness and admiration for each other, to each other. How do I love thee, let me count the ways... Recollect the good. Then post it on the bath- room mirror, email it to the office, write it in a card and hide it in the fridge. Make sex a hobby A hobby is some- thing we explore with interest and passion. We make time for it, look for ward to it, and by definition, enjoy it. Is your sexual life a favorite activity, or are you spending more time golfing or gardening? Pri- oritize lovemaking. Learn, grow, get on the cour t more often and play a much better game. Not wrong, just different What would it be like to love your par tner without judgment? The next time you argue, remember there is one issue but two perspectives. We suffer when we hold our view as The Right One. Step out of your opinion and into your par tner’s shoes. Instead of trying to prove them wrong, get curious about why they see it another way. At worst, you will learn some- thing new. At best, you will turn a lousy moment into a loving one. 12345 Great love affairs are created, not discovered. Don’t wait for passion, instead, become passion. Commit to intimacy with your body, speech, and mind. For a selection of video and others resources on relationships, go to mindful.org/ in-love-and- relationships.