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Mindful : June 2018
From the outside, former model Alison Canavan’s life looked picture-perfect. But her glamorous exterior masked a lifelong struggle with depression. INTERVIEW BY KELLE WALSH PHOTOGRAPHS BY DANIEL HOLFELD “ alison canavan the mindful interview finding beauty inside At 15, Dubliner and self-described tomboy ALISON CANAVAN was entered into a modeling competition by her mother. It marked the star t of a whirlwind career that found her traveling the globe, featured in the pages of international fashion magazines, walking runways for leading designers, and living the high life in cultural hubs like New York City, Paris, and London. But there was a shad- ow of sadness following her, which had emerged in her teens and haunted her throughout her twenties. And it was made worse by the nonstop par tying lifestyle she threw herself into, with alcohol her drug of choice. When she drank, she says, “I felt free, I felt good, I had confidence, and I had no worries.” Drinking soon became her obsession: when she could drink, how much she could drink, feeling remorse about something she’d done while drinking—that is, when she could re- member what had happened. She tried to stop on occasion, including by attending AA meetings, but couldn’t admit she belonged there. → June 2018 mindful 37