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Mindful : April 2017
I think the best we can aspire to are semi-conscious relationships.” Maybe Hugh and I belong here after all. Paying Attention Though Hugh and I have been practicing meditation for decades, the focus of my practice has been on myself, investigating the contents of my own spinning mind, my habitual reactions and their reverberations in my body. Hugh’s practice has been much the same. And while it’s clear to me that our marriage has benefit- ted enormously from our unfolding understanding of ourselves, I realize during the first meeting of the class how little mindful attention we’ve actually devoted to the unfolding of our relationship. I’m struck by this when Geo says, When we’re caught up in our stories, the reality— and possibility—inherent in the present moment becomes blocked. “ When we have a partner, we live with our teacher. We have a daily opportunity to meet our own resis- tance and reactivity. We can see it in our body language and responses, and those of our partner. We become incredible mirrors for each other.” So maybe that’s part of the missing piece for Hugh and me: not enough focus on our connection. It’s almost too obvious to be true. Yet, when we—or any two people who are close— don’t see and listen to one another with fresh eyes and ears, we drift into automatic pilot. We make assumptions based on past experiences and future expectations. When we do so we’re caught up in our stories. And when we’re caught up in our stories, the reality—and possibility—inherent in → April 2017 mindful 59