by clicking the "Next" arrow.
by clicking on the page.
the page around when zoomed in by dragging it.
the zoom using the slider when zoomed-in.
by clicking on the zoomed-in page.
by entering text in the search field, and select "This Issue" or "All Issues"
by clicking on thumbnails to select pages, and then press the print button.
displays sections with thumbnails and descriptions.
displays a slider of thumbnails. Click on a page to jump.
allows you to browse the full archive.
about your subscription?
Mindful : August 2014
Allowing: Taking a Life-Giving Pause Allowing means letting the thoughts, emotions, feel- ings, or sensations we have recognized simply be there. Typically when we have an unpleasant experience, we react in one of three ways: by piling on the judgment; by numbing ourselves to our feelings; or by focusing our attention elsewhere. For example, we might have the sinking, shameful feeling of having been too harsh in correcting our child. But rather than allowing that feeling, we might blame our partner for not doing his or her part, worry about some- thing completely different, or decide it’s time for a nap. We’re resisting the rawness and unpleasantness of the feeling by withdrawing from the present moment. We allow by simply paus- ing with the intention to relax our resistance and let the experience be just as it is. Allowing our thoughts, emotions, or bodily sensations simply to be doesn’t mea n we agree with our conviction that we’re unworthy. Rather, we honestly acknowledge the presence of our judgment, as well as the painful feelings underneath. Ma ny students I work with support their resolve to let it be by silently offering an encouraging word or phrase to themselves. For instance, you might feel the grip of fear and men- tally whisper yes in order to acknowledge a nd accept the reality of your experience in this moment. Victor Fra nkel writes, “ Between the stimulus and the response there is a space, and in this space lies our power a nd our freedom.” Allowing creates a space that enables us to see more deeply into our own being, which, in turn, awakens our caring and helps us make wiser choices in life. For one student, the space of allowing gave her more freedom in the face of urges to binge eat. In the past, whenever she felt restless or anxious at night, she’d star t thinking of her favorite food— trail mix—then mindlessly consume a half pound of it before going to bed, disgusted with herself. Learning to recognize the cues and tak- ing a pause interrupted the pattern. While pausing, she would allow herself to feel the tension in her body, her racing hea rt, the craving. Soon, she bega n to contact a poigna nt sense of loneliness buried beneath her anxiety. She found that if she could stay with the loneliness a nd be gentle with herself, the craving passed. → A August 2014 mindful 73 in practice insight August 2014 mindful 73